And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
