So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize