Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
