when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
