i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
