Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's official drugs can't kill me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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