He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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