You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
