Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize