So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
