Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
