Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
