Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
