he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
