Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had to cum in my sink.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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