I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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