jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
