I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You are the jesus of drinking
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
