the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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