you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
