he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
