I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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