That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
