You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
