i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
