I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
