yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize