all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
