how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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