I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
