She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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