Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
