Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did i walk over a car last night?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
