No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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