Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
