I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
