is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize