he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
