Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
