I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
