I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
