Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
