margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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