Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Green mimosas i think yes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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