Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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