Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
