I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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