i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
