But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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