Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A bitchslap is in order.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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