Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
