I CAN MOONWALK!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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