so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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