Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
