Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want nice things and good sex
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
